Ashlee Simmons6 Weeks Too Long: Liberation From My Worst Job Ever
February 25th 2008 01:56
Dear Bob,
(To the man on this earth who most resembles David Brent, but surprisingly isn't actually him)
I hereby tender my resignation as position of Media Co-ordinator at Company X.
(I'm leaving, you wanker. Media Co-ordinator? I am a receptionist, obviously hired only to nod, giggle at your awful jokes, and ultimately kiss your solarium-tanned buttocks in order to secure your misguided sense of masculinity and importance. As tempting as it is to stay in this role, I am at a constant struggle with the gag reflex, which in turn prevents me from fulfilling these duties to my utmost, and more importantly makes the immensly challenging task of answering phones even more so.)
As required by contract, I am providing you with one weeks notice, and my final working day will be Friday the 29th of February.
(I have no intention of staying here for a minute longer, and if I were not bound by contract to give you one weeks notice you could bet your beloved framed pictures of you and various B grade celebrities that I wouldn't)
Thankyou for my time here at Company X, I wish you and the company the best for the future.
(I can't believe I stayed here for a whole 5 weeks. Despite your deep-seeded inferiority complex and your constant emphasing that hierarchy doesn't matter here, the fact that your text message alert tone is a depressed male voice droning "excuse me boss, you have a text message" is indicative of everything I have suspected of you. You are a self-important tool.)
Regards,
(Thankyou for providing me with many valuable andedotes for future conversations regarding the biggest tools on the planet)
(To the man on this earth who most resembles David Brent, but surprisingly isn't actually him)
I hereby tender my resignation as position of Media Co-ordinator at Company X.
(I'm leaving, you wanker. Media Co-ordinator? I am a receptionist, obviously hired only to nod, giggle at your awful jokes, and ultimately kiss your solarium-tanned buttocks in order to secure your misguided sense of masculinity and importance. As tempting as it is to stay in this role, I am at a constant struggle with the gag reflex, which in turn prevents me from fulfilling these duties to my utmost, and more importantly makes the immensly challenging task of answering phones even more so.)
As required by contract, I am providing you with one weeks notice, and my final working day will be Friday the 29th of February.
(I have no intention of staying here for a minute longer, and if I were not bound by contract to give you one weeks notice you could bet your beloved framed pictures of you and various B grade celebrities that I wouldn't)
Thankyou for my time here at Company X, I wish you and the company the best for the future.
(I can't believe I stayed here for a whole 5 weeks. Despite your deep-seeded inferiority complex and your constant emphasing that hierarchy doesn't matter here, the fact that your text message alert tone is a depressed male voice droning "excuse me boss, you have a text message" is indicative of everything I have suspected of you. You are a self-important tool.)
Regards,
(Thankyou for providing me with many valuable andedotes for future conversations regarding the biggest tools on the planet)
This bitter backlash from me comes from weeks of being made to feel like brain cells were being eradacated from my brain faster that faster than weeds from Don Burke's garden. They revelled in my inferior position in the office pecking order, and used this opportunity to bombard me with petty demands, made purely for demands sake. Example? "Look, would you mind popping out and picking up a new light globe for my desk lamp? The voltage is not quite right on this one....." . I have also endured "yes, Bob may touch the things on your desk, but you MAY NOT touch anything of his as it is far more expensive". I shit you not. This experience had me wanting to retreat from civilisation and retire to natural living where such pathetic constructions are non-existent. You live to live, and the only retalliation to such a predicament would be pouncing on the perpetrator and gauging out their eyes. Either that or succome to the sadly sumissive role being forced upon me, hence throwing away all that I have ever learnt (educationally and otherwise) quelching my future aspirations, and accepting a mediaocre existence and bleak future.
Instead, I continue to fetch coffees until Friday and then commence my sprint to greener pastures, nuturing the flicker of myself that survived this experience. HOORAH!
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Comment by Anonymous
I'm very much ready to get rid of my job ive had for years, it's becoming a burden more than anything else.
glad u did what u had to do
Comment by jon
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Thanks,
Jon.